Israeli author Lihi Lapi’s On Her Own opens with an Israeli teenager hiding in the staircase of a Tel Aviv apartment building. The gripping psychological drama, a best seller when released in Hebrew in 2022 and recently translated into English, weaves a distinctly Israeli and timely tale about women from different segments of society, about losing a son to war and about the persistence of love and hope.

Local book groups are a vital part of Hadassah for many members. If your chapter doesn’t already have one, now’s the time to start! We encourage groups to have their own discussions about On Her Own before or after watching the virtual interview with the author. To facilitate those discussions, we present the following discussion guide.

1. The core of Lapid’s novel revolves around an unlikely relationship between Carmela, an elderly woman living in Tel Aviv, and Nina, a Russian Israeli teenager. Discuss the evolution of that relationship. Why do the two become so close? What does this evolution say about intergenerational relationships, and how do both characters fulfill needs in each other’s lives?

2. Do you think Nina is justified in deceiving Carmela? Did any of the events in the book alter your opinion on this? How does that deceit change as Nina grows closer to the older woman?

3. Consider the cultural and socioeconomic differences between Nina’s family and Carmela’s. Are there any similarities between the two families? What about the other families mentioned in the book?

4. One of the themes explored in On Her Own is the obligation children have toward their parents. Describe the different parent-child relationships in the book. How does Lapid portray the changing dynamics of these relationships as the children grow into adulthood?

5. Why do you think Nina’s relationship with her mother, Irina, is so contentious? What lies at the root of their difficult interactions? What about Carmela’s relationship with her son, Itamar? How do you interpret Itamar’s distance from his mother, both emotionally and geographically?

6. Many of the characters in On Her Own are women facing life’s challenges alone, whether in old age, single motherhood or the vulnerabilities of youth. What does the book reveal about the experience of being a woman in Israel? Discuss how Carmela, Nina, Irina and other female characters face difficulties.

7. Both Irina and Itamar are immigrants in their respective countries. How does the novel convey the immigrant experience, the cost of relocation and the challenges of integrating into a new country, as well as the impact on family members left behind? How does it portray the conflicts that can arise when an immigrant parent raises a child in a new country?

8. Carmela is still mourning her son Uri, who died decades earlier during his army service. Lapid wrote On Her Own before Israel’s current conflict with Hamas and Hezbollah. Do you think the events in Israel over the past year inform your response to Carmela’s grief? Discuss how Uri’s death has affected other members of his family

9. Carmela is also dealing with the grief of losing her husband, Itzik, as well as the slow deterioration of her memory due to dementia. How does the novel convey the emotional impact of loss and the fragility of memory? In what ways does Carmela’s condition affect those around her?

10. The novel touches on unique aspects of Israeli society, such as the significance of Memorial Day and the experiences of Israeli expats in the United States. How do these cultural elements shape the story and what do they reveal about the characters’ identities and struggles? What other aspects of Israeli culture does the novel explore? How does the book examine feelings of connection to Israel?